Saviour
by Clockworks' Angel
Summary: Alec needs someone to pull him out of his depressive state before it's to Rated for depressing themes, self harm, drugs, alcohol, violence and mentions of suicide
1. Chapter 1 - Useless

**Right I have no idea were this came from but its a pretty depressing story so if you don't want to read it I wouldn't blame you but give it a shot maybe? **

**Alec POV**

I'm so damn sick of life I really am I need something more I thought to myself as I took the blade towards my wrist once more before picking up my note book, on which some pages were filled with blood stains. I kept a pencil tied to the book so that if I felt the urge to write it was there. as I untied the nots which held the book closed and the pencil attached, blood from the six gashes in my wrist was falling onto the cover and then onto the pages as I got the book open.

I then began to write to write what I was feeling and why I was cutting, why I was useless.

_I can't think strait right now as my vision begins to redden Anger filling me as my soul becomes deaden Why am I so useless, what can I do All I wish for is to be able to help you But what can I do I'm no help Even if I wanted I wouldn't hear your faint yelp It hurts and stings yet there's no release Its an open wound to which requires no peace I'm useless I'm useless I'm useless And towards myself I am ruthless - _

By the time I had finished writing this there were a few drops of blood running down the writing but most of the blood which fell was on the blank page on the left. I looked at my arm to see that the slashes had crusted over in the time I had been writing, I didn't like it I wanted the blood to flow freely until there was nothing left but an empty blood capsule which was once me.

* * *

"Hey, Alec wake up!" Jace shouted through my bedroom door, I was usually the one who did that? I thought confused until I saw the time. 6:20! we all had to be at school before seven I thought horrifically. Jace had already left the room. Thankfully.

I got out of bed knocking my notebook right to the floor as I did so and landing right on the page of the poem I wrote last night. Useless. I quickly grabbed the book closed it and reattached my pencil.

* * *

School, great. I thought as I walked down the hall way trying to go unnoticed although that defiantly wasn't happening today. I could already see Raphael and Sebastian coming my way probably to throw me in the trash or beat me to a pulp this time.

"Alec, I hope your day has been good so far" Sebastian joked "do you know why? Because I want to be the one to ruin it." He then began laughing again. I wish I could just die that way I wouldn't have to live with this anymore "he's day doesn't have to be going well for us to ruin it does it." Raphael began.

Before I knew it I was taking a punch through the jaw, I wasn't and just couldn't pay any attention to who was delivering the pain at this point as I felt a fist through my stomach, then my jaw again. I was on the floor now as I felt someone kick me in the ribs a few times.

They didn't leave it there either, after the beat down I felt the two of them drag me a few meters. At this point I couldn't feel anything as my body was hoisted into the air and thrown into the giant paper bin and I was once again alone. A little part of me wished they would throw me into the glass recycling bin that way I would at least get cut or maybe die, well maybe not die but at least get seriously hurt.

I wasn't sure how long I had just lay there in the bin motionless but I had heard the bell ring three times and I could now hear people outside, it was break time. I decided to just grab my bag off my back and pull out my knife and gathering I'm alone and no one knows I'm in here I may as well cut.

I pulled my hoodies sleeve up and took the knife home watching the blood drip. When one of the cuts dried up i would just start a new one. By the time our twenty minute break was up I had at least seventeen new cuts down my forearm, it was quiet now so I took this as the chance to get out. It hurt everywhere to walk let alone get out of a bulky dustbin.

* * *

The rest of the day went pretty much the same I had even more new cuts down both arms now, and my face is probably going to look like I'm a smurf tomorrow judging by the amount on times I got a punch thrown at it.

Regardless I didn't care it was now choir and before you say anything no I don't sing I play the drums for the band, that is when I'm not listening toor watching Magnus sing. Magnus is the one who gets all the solos because his voice is so angel And there for I'm not complaining.

He was one of the popular guys I don't know how he does it but he manages to be outrageously sparkly and and out the closet gay and not get thrown into dustbins for it. I just wish I could be that guy on his arm but that would never happen mainly because he has no idea I even exist And because of that he has no idea that seeing him and hearing him sing is the only thing which keeps me going.

**Let me know what you think mainly if I should continue or not...**


	2. Chapter 2 - I know

**I wrote this ages ago believe it or not and forgot I had it so now I'm posting it I feel its an important chapter so well ya ok just read now :) I hope its ok.**

**Magnus POV**

My day has been a blast so far. Camille and Isabelle looked great as always, we had had a heated conversation about the latest episode of American Idol we were all voting for different people to win but we all know there can be only one winner. To make my day even better I'm now at choir. I felt bad for the drummer boy kid, everyday I see Raphael and Sebastian beat him and throw him into the paper recycle bin. I didn't see him be thrown in today but I did see them dragging him there just before the bell rang. I sighed as I watched the dark and mysterious boy pull out his roll bag full of drum sticks from his back pack and I couldn't help but wonder how long he's been playing, mainly because as he played it looked like all his troubles would melt away and he would get absorbed in the music, it was beautiful.

I got too sing a few solos today as I always did but my mind was clearly somewhere else, because today would be the day I said something to the black haired angel. I wouldn't chicken out... again.

So after choir when everyone had started to leave and pack there chairs I waited, people came up to me asked if they could take my chair for me, as they always did but I declined polity as I sat and watched everyone leave. although I was paying more attention to the drummer boy. He was currently just playing on the drum set presumably waiting for the room to die down before he starts to put it away into the practise room it belonged in.

It had been about five minutes, before it was only Mr Tel the band and myself in the room, this was when I got up and stacked my chair.

I walked towards the boy, now putting his collection of drum sticks into his bag before he took the kit apart.

"Hey, need some help?" I began, he looked up at me with a confused expression on his face and I didn't really blame him I mean I had never even spoken to him before and I have just popped up out of the blue asking to help?

"ummm, Sure." He replied zipping up his back pack. "you can start by putting the cymbals in practice room 5." He said picking up the floor tom.

"sure, can you come with me I'm not sure where that is." I lied

"Its next door." He replied raising a sexy eyebrow at me.

"Fine fine I knew that I just want to talk to you and to know your name." I said honestly, hoping he didn't think I was strange for saying this.

"Its Alec." Alec for Alexander? I wondered.

"Alexander?"

"umm yeah." He continued into the practice room and I followed behind him carrying the first cymbal. It didn't take long for us to finish putting the full kit into the room before he picked up his bag sliding it onto his shoulders. I quickly picked up a pen and wrote on a spare piece of paper my name and number, tapping the boy on th shoulder just before he walked out the room.

"call me?" I asked, gaining another raised eyebrow of confusion.

"uhm" he said, if that considers as 'saying'.

"Just take it dummy." I said playfully and he took his back pack off pulling out a note book, tied together with some string, taking the paper out my hands and slipping it into the inside of the not. He was putting the book away when I couldn't help but notice a piece of paper fall to the ground.

"ok, thanks' He said hooking his bag onto his back again and attempting to leave.

"Hear from you later?" I called after him, still looking at the paper which fell

"sure" he said as he left the room.

As soon as he was out of site I picked up the paper, it had some traces of what looked like blood on them? I then read what was written on it:

I know its a permanent solution for a temporary situation I know there's no coming back and know there's no re-track once its done its done Its not a problem which can be re- run but you know there Comes a point when enough is enough and when life is just to tough Yes there or those how have it worse. But, 'I give you what you can handle ' said a verse They may be able to handle there pain But mine just leaves me insane I can't explain how I feel or what I can hear For You will know through my last tear. Death I desire although its highly feared Yet I think about it and know life would be better if I just disappeared.

I knew it was suicide he was writing about and you know what I'm gonna save him there is no way I'm letting the world loose out on such a stupendous person let alone drummer, alexander I will be your saviour...

**Let me know what you think please I really like knowing, doesn't everyone anyway ...**


	3. Chapter 3 - This is how it ends

**Hey guys just a fair warning about this chapter its hard and sad and well just read it, and with the parts with Magnus bare in mind that he saw that poem last chapter and knows what Alec plans**

**Alec POV**

It was a rather odd day today Magnus, the Magnus Bane spoke to me and even helped me pack the kit away, no one ever helps me with the kit. well it doesn't really matter, he can't help me with any of my other problems aside from the kit. He had given me his number but to be honest I had no clue what that meant I mean he gives everyone his number but maybe he does really want me to call him, I thought and relentlessly got into my car and I saw Magnus walk out the school gates. Does He walk to and from school? I wondered aimlessly and before I knew it I was out my car and running after him through the empty car park, luckily.

As I got closer I yelled his name out, "Magnus!" And with it he turned around with a sexy grin plastered onto his even sexier face, Damn what's gotten into me! I cured in my head.

"Why, hello Alexander. to what do I owe this wonderful privilege?" He inquired wagging his eye brows, flip He is so sexy up close.

"Are you walking home?" I asked slightly out of breathe from running almost 4 metres.

"yeah, I always do its easier then waiting for the 6 o' clock bus after choir and I work other days and the bus takes to long." he shrugged at the thought.

"I usually drive striate home." I blurted not being able to stop myself, then again within the last five minutes I have completely lost control over what I do anyway. Considering this out burst of running towards him. "and the drive is lonely." I added silently.

"Are you offering me a lift?" He smirked and hell maybe I was offering.

"umm- um" He chuckled a little at that and I just smacked my hand against my mutilated thigh for being an idiot. I then composed myself. "Well if its a lift you need... I have a car." I finished lamely and sighed.

"who am I to decline." I only had today left so I may as well spend it with someone worth while, even for a little. I was lost in thought as Magnus and I walked towards my old black golf, tonight would be perfect, Mom was going to be at the school for parents evening for Izzy, my sister, and Jace, my brother, was going to take advantage of this evening and go to a part. Since my dad was nowhere to be seen I was alone and was going to use this opportunity to my advantage.

"Alexx-" I cut him off "just Alec" I said not wanting to be called Alexander, to many memories get pulled up with that one name.

"oh ok" He sounded almost disappointed about it but carried on "what were you thinking about?" He asked and I gripped tighter onto the steering wheel I was now sitting in front of.

"Nothing" I replied not wanting to confess anything. Clearly he knew something I didn't, I could see it in his eyes.

"what's the look for?" I asked before realising something and not letting him answer. "where do you live?" He chuckled clear just waiting for me to realise that I was dropping him off to a completely unknown place. "Parkers Drive." He said before looking out the window at the clear blue sky, completely opposite to how I felt.

"you live at Parkers drive?" I queried thinking about the huge mansion like house down the road from me.

"yup, how come?" I then felt his gaze on my as I kept my eyes on the road.

"no reason." I skipped the question not really wanting him to know I live down the road encase he comes to visit today for an odd reason and I don't get to do my thing.

"why do you dodge all my questions?" He asked me and I could still feel his gaze on my face but I was determined to keep my eyes glued to the solid black of the tar road.

"I don't." I stated but it seemed he had an answer back.

"So far you have, what were you thinking of? Nothing why the look? no reason. please answer one." He pleaded and I stole a quick glance to see him pouting.

"Because I live three doors down from you" I stated blandly not really wanting that information out but rather that then the former.

"You live with Izzy?" He asked

"yeah she's my sister."

"I had no idea she had a hot brother or I would have come over sooner, maybe we can spend more time at your house so I can see your more often." He said and I now realised that one of my sister older friends she always spoke about was Magnus, but he would have to let go of the thought of seeing me more often gathering this will be the last time.

"well this is the street so.." I said hinting that there's no more time to chat on.

"you live here right?" He pointed to my huge house although it wasn't as big as his and I nodded.

"pull up I'll walk home from here I wanna see inside." He said as I followed his order and pulled up into my drive. Moms care was gone so I assumed that she and Izzy had left already. "You can't stay long." I said to him and he pouted again.

"non ones home why not?" He asked, emphasising the No ones home part

"well cos... I have stuff I need to do." He raised a suspicious eye brow at me, does he know?

"fi fine." He said unsteadily after a while of silence.

Magnus didn't stay long as I asked he did, I just showed him round and pushed him back out the door he had wasted almost an hour of my 'suicide time' I had come to call it. Although the act wouldn't take long I wanted to be sure I was dead by the time everyone got home, just to be sure I wouldn't be saved.

As I take these last few steps

To were I know my doom lies

I tie the rope and take a few breathes

I'm done with this and all these tries

At least now I know it will work

I know the pain will end

The rope is tied with a final jerk

I go to my desk and think of a friend

I'm sorry I say as I write

This last note for all

The tiers in my eyes I try to fight

Just before I take my last fall

I fold the note and leave it there

As I leave I wonder 'will it ever be read?'

Or if it will be left as a reminder of my weakness in despair

I guess now that I think of it I'm not as ok as I said.

I look at the fan were rope is attached

As I stand on the wobbly stool. When I put the loop around my throat

I wonder how I'm so mismatched

But its to late to ponder

As I kick and the rope begins to pull.

Goodbye to the pain the heart break and tiers

Goodbye to the bullies nightmares and fears

I take one last struggle of a breath as I say goodbye my dear mother and unknown father

I'm sorry I did this but its what I'd rather...

**What should I say here... I don't know can you guys just maybe review and tell me what you thought of this and everything the more reviews I get the faster the next chapter will be up and you can know what happens to Alec after that well yeah. I promise with the fast updating because I know what waiting for something like this can do. But obviously I need the review first **


	4. Chapter 4 - The shadow of death

**_Hey guys new chapter here, I hope you enjoy but please please read it till the end because well I don't want you to jump to conclusions anyway her you go. _**

**_Magnus POV_**

_I had just left Alecs house and was about half way to mine I tried to sped up my walk as cold wind hit into me ad I put my hands into my pockets that was when my fingers passed on to a piece of paper, Alecs poem, resting in my pocket and I realised something, something I should probably have realised when I noticed no one was home, Alec. He was going to try something I could feel It in my gut I also knew I had to do something and I had to do it fast, I dropped my school bag where I was standing which was my vacant street, knowing it would only slow me down and although his house__ was only a few houses away I needed to get there, NOW!_  
_I sprinted past a few doors going right for his house part of me wishing I hadn't skipped all those PE classes and the other part hoping and praying I wasn't to late._  
_"Alec!" I screamed and I burst through the white wooden front door of his house. "Alec! Are you ok! Alec! Are you here!" I yelled running up the stairs to what I remembered as his bed room._  
_"Alec!" I screamed again this time flinging his bedroom door open and going inside. Empty. "Shit where is he?" I questioned the air and walls around me, growing more and more panicked as time went by. 'Every minute I spent looking for him is a minute less of life he has left.' I repeated to myself over and over as I walked through the room towards the side bathroom, 'please be ok please please please.' At this point I could feel hot tiers rolling down my cheeks. I should have tried harder to get to know him every time I saw him at choir, I should have done something more when I found the poem, I should have stayed with him when I saw that no one was home! Why am I so stupid? I fell to my knees on his bathroom floor as my body was wrecked with tiers and that's when I saw __when I saw it, blood dripping onto the floor and now my hands When I looked up to see the source I saw Alec, just hanging on the shower rail. He had slit his wrists so deep, which was probably where the dryer blood had come from, he had then hung himself with his belt and was dead judging by the blood streaming from his mouth._  
_I was too late..._  
_After that I couldn't handle anything properly and so I dropped out of school not being able to handle the pain of seeing the faces of all the people that drove Alec my dearest dearest Alexander to end everything for himself and inevitably for me..._  
_I lived the rest of my life alone insulated from everyone else afraid of someone else ripping my heart out the way the suicide had until eventually I too died from cancer years later._

I awoke from my nightmare with a stir, I felt like I had just seen my whole life before me, without Alec and it scared the hell out of me but I immediately felt better when I looked at him in the bed opposite my chair, unconscious and in a coma but alive and after that dream that's all I needed. I traced my hand over the side of his face, "please be ok baby I really want to take you to places and call you mine" I whispered to him paying attention to the tube stuffed down his throat so he could breathe and the beeping of a heart monitor. I'm happy he wasn't dead from being choked. When I found him, he was only unconscious but he needed the tube because he couldn't breathe on his own yet in his state. I kissed his cheek before settling back in the chair I was seated in willing myself not to sleep again afraid of the dreams which would show them selves.

As the shadow of death lurks

And does his rounds as he works

He waits And waits for that one person

That one who has the best reason

The reason which cause their death

The reason which cause their final breath

The need that person the one who tries

The one that lies and hides

The one who succeeds The

shadow of death needs to pull these weeds

They poison his world and leave it in disappear

That's what I am I'm just a flare

**You didn't think I'd kill Alec off did you? Well I didn't and wouldn't anyway please review to tall me what you think I would love that :D**


	5. Chapter 5 - Heartless

**Hey guys, I wrote this in class yesterday and was about to post it when the fire alarm went off, who inconvenient but anyway I hope you all like it. **

**Alec POV**

Everyone says to me, you must be so strong They ask me, how do you do it I shrug say nothing and it feels wrong Sometimes I wonder should I just admit Admit that I'm a freak, I can't go a day without blood I need to draw it to feel alive As I look down in my hand there sits a knife As I hear in my veins there's just that thud A sign where my heart beats Where it used to sit Yet now it lies out on the streets Far from the place in my chest now a hollow pit. I'm a shell of a person No heart held inside I don't think I could worsen And that I can't hide.

It was all black and I was sitting in mid air floating alone in a void of space nowhere to go exept into my thoughts and past memories I didn't want to remines. I closed my eyes hoping I will see some sort of light or item maybe even a floor to sit on. I hoped that maybe just maybe this would be a dream, well more like a nightmare, I was too disconnected from my body and I felt like I was drowning but there was no water around me just empty space.

When I opened my eyes there was no change from my situation as I grew more restless and confused. Maybe if I tried again, I closed my eyes but this time when I opened them I was standing across from my parents at a table and behind, myself? What was happening. I thought about it for a minute before it dawned on me...

"Really Alexander! How could this be happening, what was that your mother and I saw!" Robert brought me out of my thoughts, this was the first time they saw it, my arms...

It happened a few months ago and I told them I had stopped and wouldn't continue but regardless I never stopped. No one ever checked so no one ever knew if I was telling the truth or not so what did it matter.

I walked around the table with tiers starting to form well thats what it felt like, I was so disconnected from my body that My spirit or ghost what ever you wanted to call it couldn't cry, I tried I needed the release yet nothing...

The feelings which crossed me where an exact replicer of the emotion portrayed on 'my' face as Robert yelled things at 'me' This was one of those days which I had contimplated doing it, contemplated killing myself, but I brushed it off after what happened next, I continued to watch the scene play out.

"Are you trying to damage your body! Do you want to look like an outcast!" Robert yelled and his words, with each one I and my younger self flinched.

"I'm already an outcast dad!" I stood and yelled with my voice breaking and teirs soaked on my face, looking at myself from this view made me realise how broken I truely was how unreparable I was and how much I decerved to die. No one could ever love something like that, I wish i could just DIE!

"Don't say that son." Maryse spoke for the first time in a soothing voice.

"Why not it's true." I said in a calmer tone then I had used with my father but my voice still breaking with everyword as I made to leave the room. I knew what happened after that, I lock myself in my room grab the knife and cut, my mother stands on the other end of the door begging me to let her in which I aventually do and spend the next hour crying in her arms as she craddled and comforted me to sleep.

The part of the story I did not know what the part I was staring at, the part where my father sat at the end of the table with his face in his hands sobbing queitly to himself, I haddn't noticed before that he did actually care, My father cared, he probably still cares too.

This thought struck me back into the open void of nothingness as well as blackness where I floated, all feelings of wanting to cry present but tiers not able to pass through me, what have I done...

**Magnus POV**

I still sat at Alecs bed willing myself not to sleep afraid I would have more nightmares it had been four days and two nightmares that had past. Alec had been down for that long and I had spent those days in anguish with Alecs family who had vissited and we all cried together even though I didn't know them as Alec's friend but as Izzys, whom I had comforted alot through out the past days. I wished I could have done something more I should have stayed with Alec till his mother came back, I should have known...

I beat myself up about Alec's situation for the next few minutes before I heard the doctor come in and I stood quickly hoping for some good news. I looked at the doctor expectantly for what felt like hours before she finally spoke.

"He's slipping from us, our test show that he has been slipping in and out of consiousness and we fear that if he doesn't awake in the next two days, we may have lost him." She said as she strung me look off pure pity.

The news shocked so much I couldn't hold myself up anymore and sunk down into the chair. "Will he wake up in the next two days" I asked with slight hope but not looking at the doctor, at Alec.

"There is a chance but its up to him." I put m hands over my face as tiers started swelling in my eyes if it was up to Alec he may not want to come back.

"I'm sorry." The doctor spoke as she putt a soothing hand onto my shoulder and left. I pick Alecs hand up into mine, "Alexander, bay please wake up, please for me wake up, for Izzy wake up, for your Mother and father wake up, don't let them win, I will protect you at school, I won't let them hurt you anymore please Alec I will protect you, we all need you." At this point my eyes were filled with tiers I just couldn't hold them in as much as I tried there were to many. To help try make me feel better I tried telling Alec stories. "Choir sucks without you" I told him, " you try singing gospel without a drummer its no fun and there's no life to the music, so need to wake up soon to bring some life to our music." I couldn't talk anymore as my body shook violently with tiers and voice cracked, I just anted him back even though I didn't know him as well as I wish I did, even though I wish I could call him mine I can't but I want, no I need the chance.

**Well there it is guys please let me know what you think :)**


	6. Sorry

Hey guys I'm sorry but I'm not going to finish any of my stories this isn't a hiatus its the end. I'm sorry guys I just can't write anymore.

if anyone wants the stories I don't care just republish them and finish them or what ever. Just Thanks for always being there with me through these stories and I'm sorry I can't finish them I love you all


	7. Chapter 6 - Its not over guys

**Well yeah this was a surprise for me ad you, I know I said I'm stopping and I was but things happened and so here I am or here we are I'm really sorry for posting the AN last night which kinda ripped my heart out and I wouldn't blame you if you don't want to read my stories anymore but please give me another chance and I will do my best not to disappoint you guys again, you all amazing and I love you all here is another chapter , I think you might like this one.**

**Izzy POV**  
"We didn't have to go to the parents evening thing!" I yelled at my mother who was sitting next to me in the bright hospital room across from Alecs sleeping form.  
Magnus wasn't in here anymore for the simple reason that we told him he needs to rest somewhere other than in a hospital chair, where he had been for the last two weeks. "Isabelle its not our fault, he would have done it if we went or not." Maryse answered me her tone was soft and sad it took me a second to understand what she had said.  
"I know." I gave up silently sinking back into my chair. "I just wish I knew why." With my sentence I felt my mom get up out of her chair as she walked towards me lifted me out the chair and put her arms around me. "Me to baby, maybe if we knew why he wanted to we could have stopped him or helped him." She whispered into my ear.  
**Alec POV**  
I was still floating in the limbo sort of state but it wasn't as black anymore it had more of a, redish tint to it. That can't be good can it? I knew I was slowly dying and I knew that at one point this was what I wanted, I thought, I thought no one cared I though they'd all be happy if I wasn't here but after seeing my dad cry because of what I did to myself I knew, I knew he cared. I closed my eyes hoping to escape but yet again I was cast into a memory from my past. The bins... I watched my self get thrown into the paper recycling bin by Jonathan and Raphael but this wasn't like the last time. This was the very first time they did it. My spirit was shot back into the memory where I would be forced to endure it from the beginning well this is going to help me, I thought. If I'm going to die this will help me pass over remembering this pain.  
It was the first day of year 10 and I had transferred schools hoping that maybe just maybe the constant harassment would stop, I was wrong it just got worse.  
I watched myself walking to what I was told was my locker before I was tripped. "Learn to walk on your feet kid" some guy yelled at me it was Jonathan, always the ring leader I thought to myself as I continued watching the now distant memory unfold before me. " I would but its more fun walking on my hands" I retorted as I got up off the floor. And the two made their long strides toward my younger self. "If its more fun the stay there." Raphael yelled as he pushed me back down or at least tried to I ducked it and bolted. I can still remember what was going through my mind, not now not ever I can't handel this. After about ten minutes of hiding behind the dustbin I felt a hand pull me down from the collar. "Ey what you doing here?" A medolic voice belonging to a very sparkly boy about my age spoke. That's Magnus I thought to myself, I had completely forgotten about this conversation we had shared as fifteen year old boys I was now 17 "Hiding" I replied softly stunned by the beauty that was him as I look into his contact covered cat eyes.  
"Don't hide beautiful." He winked "they will kill me other wise."  
"Tell you what if ever you need help and you can't find you way out I will help you, just find me." I never did, maybe if I did I wouldn't be here well where ever here is, this blank oblivion that is.  
**Magnus POV**  
"Why didn't I listen to you." I heard a raspy voice and cracked lips ask. Alec!  
I took his hand in mine immediately as I began to speak to him. "What baby who didn't you listen to." I asked him as he tried opening his eyes. After what felt like years I saw his blue ores they looked like all the life had been taken from him. Well you know he was in hospital and he does look like hell with his hair plastered to his forehead a dark ring of bruising around his neck. Dark shadows under his eyes and even more pale then usual.  
"I didn't listen to you." He croaked out looking at me. I moved some of his hair from his eyes so I could see them better.  
"What are you talking about Alec baby." I asked him only now realising the fact that I called him baby twice now but he didn't seem to mind at the time being.  
"When we" he stopped for a moment I then realised something he hadn't drank anything in three weeks well he had but not through his mouth so I handed him a glass of water from the side table. "Thank you," he croaked "do you remember, when we were 15" I thought about what he had voiced in his corse throat and I nodded. "You said that if I needed help and was stuck." He stopped his throat to sore to carry on for the moment, at least that's what I assumed. " To come find me, you never did." I remembered and he nodded. I took him into my arms carefully and for sometime his body tensed up at me touch. "If I realised you wouldn't come to me for help, I would have just given it to you. I felt tires burn down my shoulder. "Don't cry baby". " I should have listened to you." He croaked his voice now broken from tired as well as soreness "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he mumbled into my neck over and over again. I pulled him back off of me and looked at him in the eyes "don't be sorry baby your ok and that's what matters" and I kissed him smack bang on the lips, shit.

Each tender piece of flesh

a jagged line of a scar

the thoughts and feelings so far

yet all still sit fresh

I try to move on But to no avale

I see them and cut, I want to be free

I see them and they remind me

How each time I fail

They win they win

I give up, more and more they increase

I ask just one thing I ask to be at peace

Peace in my mind to forget this sin

Cut, cut, cut This sin I've done

Its one hell of a ride

I can't stop it and I can't hide

Nor can I try to run

Its killed me inside now I do it for life

The scar it leaves, The blood I see drip

Its all. To thrilling How can I not slip

For This is how I thrive...

**Was I right? did you like it? or was I wrong and you hated it? please let me know**


	8. Chapter 8 - I love you

**Heyguys this is a short chapter and alsothe last chapter :( I'm goiong tomiss this story alot and I hope you all enjoy it. **

**Magnus POV**

"You, you kissed me?" He asked in what seemed like a haze of confusion probably brought upon to him by the dosage of medication as well as the few weeks he had spent in acoma. This was when I realised, he hadn't been through as much with me as I had with him and in his head I was the Magnus Bane he knew from weeks before when I helped him put awake the kit. The Magnus Bane who had not yet come to love the boy before him. The Magnus Bane who had only ever spoken to him once.  
"I did." I said nodding, not wanting to press further but desperate to know what was coursing its way around behind those big, beautiful, blue ores I had been dying to see again.  
"Why?" He asked me shifting under the white blanket of the hospital bed.  
"Why not" I countered in a friendly manner. Yet decided to change the subject if he wanted to object to the kiss he would have done so already.  
"Why didn't you ask for my help." I pipped out not meaning for those words and that subject take the lead yet they had. "I didn't think you meant it or wanted to know about me and my problems..." He trailed - imagined his throat still hurt a lot from the tubes together with not being used for some time. "Why are you here? Where's my family, jace izzy?" He asked going off book and I understood why he asked why I was here. I mean, why am I here? My mind was about to go into a ramble to answer the question but luckily my consciousness reminded me of the fact that Alec had an unanswered question on hinges.  
"Jace and Izzy are at school. Your parents needed to go on a business trip or something. I said I'd watch you." I told him watching his expression sink as I told him why his parents weren't here. "Of course" he mumbled I grabbed his hand and squeezed it slightly "why did you stay?" He asked me and it looked as if tiers where about to come pouring out his eyes I love him was the answer to his question but I couldn't really tell him that so, "I care about you and after finding you hanging in your bathroom I don't ever want to leave you again." I told him and the tiers started falling from both our eyes "you mean that?" He asked me with a hopeful look in his eyes "every word".

A few weeks later the doctors discharged Alec. Although he didn't go back to school right away when he would I wasn't going to let anyone hurt my angel again. I had gone back to school a week after Alec was released but still visited him everyday as soon as school was over. on a friday he asked me stay the night which I did.  
"Do you just pity me and that's why you stay?" He asked me as he was making up an extra mattress on the floor next to his bed where I would sleep. "No why would you think that?"  
"I don't know, why else do you stay?" Well I guess this is where I tell him right? Here goes nothing "well its because" I shifted slightly "well I love you Alexander." I told him unsure of what his response would be. He drop the pillow he had been putting in a case and turned around to face me before crashing his body into mine. " Do you really mean that." He asked mumbling the question into my shoulder as he clutched his arms around me. "*always and forever baby" I told him "I love you too since the day behind the dustbin I loved you since then." He told me and I sqeezed his body closer to mine wanting no space between us and no time to limit out closeness, I was finally happy with the person I love and Alec was finally happy within himself.

**I hope you like this chapter and the story and Iwould love it if all of you guys could leave a review and let me know how youliked the story as well as this chapter.**


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